Feeling Excluded in Class?

“Abhijata, I’m recovering from having a very bad cold for 5 days. Shall I take the class today or observe?” She answered me, It’s up to you. You decide. I’ll do what I can and see how it goes. I was excited she didn’t say no, but already exhausted from walking to the venue, I knew I had to pace myself. When Raya started teaching the class, I realized I had set myself up right under the fan. Ugh. Blanket around my shoulders. Problem solved temporarily. Raya started to say we were doing standing poses, so ladies on their period and those not well could use the wall. My chance to find a fan less wall. Lucky for me there was space on a column. Never mind my back would be to the stage. I’ll make it work. Prasarita Padottanasana. Ok. Don’t need the wall for that. Already out of breath and we haven’t even started. Why are people so slow in getting a wall? Ok standing poses against the wall. Vriksasana, Trikonasana, Parsva Konasana, Ardha Chandrasana. Body happy to be moving, grateful for the support of the column to take the edge off. Lots of explanations in the arm movements in relation to the trunk.

Seated twists are next. “Periods” ladies and those with diarrhea do supine poses. I don’t really have diarrhea, but my stomach is not quite requesting twists. Time to make an executive decision, even though the twists would be helpful to my hacking cough, but don’t want to take a chance of awakening my bowels. Plus, I’m already exhausted. We are not at the institute, so we only have blankets belts and blocks. No luxurious items like ropes and bolsters. It’s actually quite nice to do Supta Baddha Konasana with two blankets. It’s workable in dire times. If you’re ever been in a class, and feel like you are excluded from the class because you’re on your period, I have a tip for you. Your experience that day is the lesson of the day. Whatever you learn in your situation, will remain, and you will learn. And isn’t that what we are doing? Learning? So before you feel sorry for me because I was one of the “excluded ones”, let me tell you what I have learned in the past. I have hosted many fantastic teachers at my studio in the Miami area for over twenty years. For some reason, I would always get my period or a migraine that exact weekend, no matter when it was. At first I used to get so sad for all I would be missing. Funny thing is that I learned what to do when having a migraine, or on my period. And I learned from those great teachers, so I ended up not really missing out. On the contrary, I got many private lessons and tips. And of course that happened today too.

The class today was being translated, so as I was listening to Rayas instructions, I was also listening to the Portuguese translation. Sadly, many instructions were actually translated incorrectly, or missed really important points altogether. I did, however, get to listen to the instructions twice, even though the second one was not always correct. Hopefully the Portuguese and Brazilians present who did speak English understood the correct actions or instructions. It helped me to practice my Portuguese Yoga language, and to think about a better translation. 

When Raya was teaching twists, as much as I could, I tried to do the actions possible in my supine poses. So, for example, in Bharadvajasana and Marichyasana, he was leading the students to spread the back ribs. He said that most of us tighten the back ribs when twisting, and that we should not do that. The back ribs need space. So, I broadened my back ribs in Supta Baddhakonasana, and I continued following what I could in the pose that I was in. And it felt quite lovely. And I never felt excluded. I think we feel excluded when we exclude ourselves. I was including myself in the class, and got to rest and do the poses that were helping me to heal. 

When the class did Sirsasana, I joined, but stayed at the wall to continue pacing myself. When the students did backbends, I went back to finish my supine poses. I was still back bending, but using the poses as my medicine. When we did Sarvangasana, I set myself up at the pillar for support, which came in very handy when we stayed for a while in karnapidasana. I typically can do it on the floor, but I could feel on the wall how far I could go to keep my coughing at bay. And I could feel my system being soaked, soothed, and silenced. (Thank you Dear Guruji for teaching us different ways to practice. They have become for me my medicine cabinet, and the added support today was like an extra dose of Vitamin C. Vitamin P. P for props.)

Raya shared with us Guruji’s teachings about how important asana is to our pranayama practice. We develop the sensitivity with asana, since in pranayama you need sensitivity. He also explained how the backbends stimulate our bodies and mind and give us flexibility of the spine, but that leaves us unstable. The forward bends, however, give us stability, soothe the nerves, and make us quiet. We need both in our bodies, but especially for pranayama, we need to be alert and stable. The ability to observe and be sensitive. First the group did forward bends for one minute, but the second minute, Raya encouraged those who could stay to stay, and come out when they were ready. That was one of the drawbacks of classes, he said, that the teacher dictates the time in the postures, so you don’t get to stay and explore. 

Again, Abhijata suggested I don’t do the forward bends if my stomach wasn’t well. So I did Setu Bandha, and then Viparita Karani. I felt just like the rest of the energy in the room. Quiet, restored, calm, and soothed. And we lied down for pranayama letting ourselves be supported where there was support, and letting go where there wasn’t. Not trying too hard. Just observing maintaining the silent effect from the forward bends. Then we sat in Virasana for a little seated pranayama. Again, effortless, natural, and quiet.

Savasana came too quickly, and it continued naturally, in silence. 

After the class, (and typically after a pranayama practice, I find myself seeking solitude and in some way a natural continuing pranayama life.) But one has to talk when being talked to, or hug back when hugged by friends. A woman from New Zealand gave me some propolis and eucalyptus pills, which were very soothing. Others told me they thought I had left since they hadn’t seen me. And many genuinely asked if I was feeling better. My solitude seeking heart was full of gratitude for a brilliant class which left me speechless. But it became fuller by fellow students from different corners of the world wishing me well. It was also a bittersweet time, as many people who shared the sacred space of the hall at RIMYI and the offsite temple for a month prepare to leave. Until we meet again, and move, learn, laugh, and grow together in our world wide Iyengar cosmic family.